The Complacency of Cattle

09 Apr

Two hundred years is a sufficiently long nap. I woke up feeling refreshed and, had I possessed a tail, it would have been bushy and my eyes would have been bright. I prowled about my mausoleum for a good five minutes, re-acclimating myself to the world of consciousness, if not the world of the living. I haven’t been alive in a very long time.

I climbed the dusty stairs slowly and carefully, doing my best to not disturb the dust. I reached the heavy stone door leading to the outside world, and carefully used my right arm to slide it open a crack. Light shone through the crack and I cursed the Lord in Heaven as it struck my flesh with holy fury, causing it to steam and burn. I withdrew immediately to the shadows and donned my daylight form. I spread my leathery black wings and slipped through the crack, blinking in the awful sunlight. it was hot, but I could bear it now. I soared up into the sky, over the cemetery I had slept in for two centuries, ignoring the funerary procession beneath me. A few cows looked up from the line at the large bat flying during the day, but failed to give me much more notice than that.

How things had changed. Gone were the brick pens and cobblestone streets of my last waking. Gone were the horse-drawn carriages and well-dressed cattle, ever watchful in the night for the soaring death. None of the cattle seemed to wear any clothing at all, unafraid to flaunt their succulent flesh to the world, their blood purity clear for all of the hunters to see. The pens of the cattle had become blockier and, dare I say it, even more hideous, even if they were bigger, reaching up into the domain of the great hunters in their hubris. The streets the cattle walked on had become smoother and splashed with bright colors. The horse-drawn carriages had been replaced by carriages that moved on their own. The cattle had gown inventive, it seemed. I soared down into a dark alley not unlike those I had known, and spent the sunlit hours lurking behind a pair of smelly metal cylinders.

When the sky’s shadow fell upon the world, I turned again into my night form. A male cow, though hardly a bull, clearly deep into his drinks, stumbled blindly into my alley, lurching by me. I killed him in a second, a snapped spine being all it took, but disdained his blood, tainted as it was by the drink. I took his costume and donned it myself, covering my naked body, in order that the cattle would not recognize me for what I was. I stepped out into the streets and prowled the city.

My prey revealed itself to me not half an hour later, exiting from a large building  with glowing white boards above it, with what seemed to be novel titles printed on it. Three young female calves walked out of the building’s glass doors, talking excitedly. Their clothing left little to the imagination, and I could see the pure, beautiful blood pumping through their living veins. I stepped into the false light and flashed them a brilliant smile, hiding my fangs. My suave disguise caught their eyes quickly, and their jaws dropped. The foolish calves walked right up to me.

“Whoa girls! He looks just like Edward!”

“Oh my god, are you a vampire?”

“You’re so pale!”

“Do you sparkle?”

“Where are your fangs?”

“What’s your power?”

“Are you strong?”

For the first time in my life, I was taken aback. How did they recognize me so quickly? Cattle might be weak when divided, but united against a common foe, the stampede could take down even the most fearsome predator. My shock showed on my face, and they reacted instantly.

“Oh! You are!”

“Oh my god!”

“Your secret is safe with us!”

“This is so awesome!”

“Which one of us are you gonna date?”


“No me!”


I quickly adapted to the new situation. I did not appear to be in danger at all. They seemed to worship me, finally, even if their worshipful practices were incorrect. “Well, I am glad to learn I can trust you all,” I said smoothly. I bared my fangs, and they all squealed.

“Oh my god! This is so awesome!”

“Make us into vampires!”

“I love you!”

“Oh my god oh my god oh my god!”

It was a simple matter to entice the calves to follow me into a nearby dark alley.

“What are you going to show us?”

“Will you take us away?”

“Bite me!”

“No, me!”

“Me first!”

The moonlight faded as a cloud passed over it, and the world darkened. I smiled malevolently. “Bit you?”

“Yes! Yes!” they all squealed.

“As you wish,” I said, and took on my hunting form. Only the faintest of shrieks emerged from the mouth of the alley as I feasted.

I was long gone by the time any cattle authorities arrived to investigate their blood-drained carcasses. The cattle had grown complacent, and dare I say, even dumber. The pure energy of untainted blood pulsed through my dead veins, and my strength was boundless as I leapt and flew from rooftop to rooftop. The hunt is good and the night is young. I do not think I shall be sleeping again for a long while.

Copyright 2012 by Z. M. Wilmot

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Posted by on April 9, 2012 in Blog Fiction


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