Dark Aeons

Big news! After three long, long years, I have finally released Dark Aeons, my collection of horror short stories! I would like to take this time to thank Peter Merlin and Jacob G. Adams, my literary advisors and editors, for the work they put into editing the monstrosity that is now available for reading!

Dark Aeons is, like I said, a collection of horror stories. Most of them are highly experimental in nature, so many of the stories won’t be for everyone, but they cover a wide range of topics and things, all linked together by fear and their disturbing nature. H. P. Lovecraft’s influence is very heavily felt in the collection, and indeed, my novella “Parallax” is very similar to his story “From Beyond,” though the two go in very different directions.

My personal favorite stories from the collection are the following:

-“Winds of Madness:” A story about a young boy with a deathly fear of winds, and the pyschiatrist assigned to work with him. His fears might not be irrational, however, and both of their lives are soon in danger.

-“Dark Prophecy:” A prose poem describing the horrors of the future, as told through the words of a rambling, crazy man accosted by the police.

-“Hell Factory:” A semi-prose poem describing a terrifying vision of eternal torment.

-“The Loneliness of the Spheres:” A poem describing my own personal feelings towards life.

-“The Derelict:” Originally published in Space Adventure Magazine, re-appearing here, this story follows a crew of space scavengers that pick the wrong derelict to loot.

-“The Playground:” This prose poem embodies all that is disturbing and creepy to me, and is filled with a commentary on both childhood and adulthood.

-“The Vessel:” A Roman equestrian finds himself caught up not only in the Punic Wars, but in something far deadlier as well.

-“What Walks Under Moonlight:” My first attempt at a semi-rhyming and metered poem. It might not be amazing, but I’m still proud of it!

Of course, I like every single poem and story in the collection, but the above are, in my opinion, the best of them. But who knows, maybe you will disagree with me!

And just to whet your appetites, here is an excerpt from “The Silver Door:”

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We always had wondered what was behind that large silver door on the lowest floor of the city library. It was an oddity in that dusty old building, easily one and a half times the size of the polished mahogany doors that populated the rest of the structure. For a long time, I never got too close to the door itself; it was one of those items irresistible to my childish curiosity, but at the same time clearly forbade anyone from coming too close. My fear had always overridden my curiosity, and the same had been true of my two best friends – Jack and Valerie – as well.

It didn’t help our curiosity that we never saw anyone ever open that door. Many a time we would sit at the table nearest the door – though this table was still a good twenty feet or so distant – and watch it intently, all the while pretending to study.

I say that the silver door was an oddity, but in truth, the entire lower level of the library was odd. It was below ground level, and one had to walk down a spiral staircase to get to it. Five more floors extended upwards from the first, for a total of seven floors. The library was the oldest structure in town, and I would not have been the least surprised if the lowest level predated the rest of the building. The stones in the walls of that level were different than those used throughout the upper portions of the library; they reminded one of the walls of some ancient castle, very much unlike the red bricks of the structure above. The carpets on the floor were also much older, and looked like antiques brought in from the Orient.

The bookshelves down there had the same appearance as those of the upper floors, but their contents were an example of what was perhaps the starkest contrast between the upper and lower levels. While the books above were those one would expect to find in a library of this day, the books in the cold stone cellar were much older and far more sinister in appearance. Many of them were locked, and almost all were bound in thick leather, with thin yellow parchment in place of proper paper pages. Most of them looked as if they hadn’t been touched in centuries.

To make the room even more curious, at least to us children back then, was that all of the books were written in either Latin, Greek, or Arabic. None of us could read a word out of any of them, although we often tried. We didn’t go down there for the books, however, though one would describe us back then as bookworms.

We went down there to escape. Our intelligence and bookishness made the others jealous – we were teased and bullied mercilessly. The library was the only escape for the three of us –  Jack and Valerie and me. We had always visited the place when we were tiny, and as we grew older, spent more and more time there.

There was one day, though – I think it was a Tuesday – when the biggest bully of them all, Billy McDermott, and his friends chased us into the library on a sunny afternoon. Terrified, we ran down the first staircase we saw – the one leading down to the lower level, where we had never before been in our lives. Billy never found us down there – perhaps the work of the doddering old men (and occasional young lady) who worked at the place, or perhaps they failed to notice the descending spiral stair. Or perhaps he sensed something about that cellar that we did not.

We found quickly that we loved it down there – we all fancied ourselves to be medieval folklorists, and the atmosphere in that basement was that of a medieval study, perhaps one in an ancient monastery. We soon found ourselves going down there every day, sitting at one of the old oak tables – maybe from an old Viking meetinghouse – reading various works of fiction we had brought from home, and doing our schoolwork.

We found the door a month or so after we began to inhabit the room, staying there every day of the week. The floor was very large, much like the others, and we never ventured far, for we never had any need to. Eventually, though, curiosity got the better of us and we went exploring. At the farthest end of the room we found the door. As I said, the closest tables were above twenty feet away; there was a large open space in front of the door. The three of us, on that day, approached the silver door, but all refused to cross that threshold marked off by the tables. We stood silently at the edge of that area for several minutes, all overcome by mingling senses of curiosity and fear. But, as always, our fear overpowered our curiosity, and we retreated back to the stairs, where we discussed our findings.

Gradually, over the course of a few months, we began to sit nearer and nearer to that door, until we regularly inhabited that table closest to it, no longer quite so bothered by the odd mixture of emotions that tended to accompany its presence.

Only once did someone other than ourselves descend that staircase and enter our domain. I do not know whether or not he was a librarian, but he was an old man in an ancient tweed jacket, supporting himself on a silver cane topped with an intricate carving of a howling wolf. He stayed with us for only a minute or so, quickly locating a gigantic black volume, and walking back upstairs with it.

And for many more months after that, the silver door waited, unmoving, its cold surface both taunting and terrifying, both beckoning and warning us against the secrets it hid behind its implacable face.

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Currently, Dark Aeons is available as a free eBook at Smashwords, and as a $7.00 print book at the  CreateSpace eStore and Amazon. It will eventually become available on Kindle and Barnes and Noble Nook, as well as the iTunes iStore. If you’re even remotely interested, give it a try; you might find something worth your while in there!

General Update

Hey everyone! I am sure those of you who have been following me have noticed a drop in my activity. My apologies for that, but I have been extraordinarily busy of late. Hopefully that will change once I go back to university (funny how I’m busier during the summer), and if I have my way, I’d have more time now!

Apologies aside, as has been my general pattern, I have once again failed to meet my #Writemotivation goals this month. To be fair to myself, though, I did better than usual, completing a whole 1/3 of them! I have finished all of my Astral Tide chapters for Series II, and have begun planning for Series III! The Epilogue is coming tomorrow, so stay tuned!

I also managed to write a long EsoTarot post the other day, and I think practitioners of Geomancy might find it very useful. I found it useful writing the post myself!

In other news, August CampNaNo has begun! I hadn’t planned on participating this month (after seeing my dismal progress last time), but I forgot I had already made my novel on the site and how that I’m in a cabin, I’ll try – but I make no promises. For August, I will continue working on Beneath, but I have some other goals as well:

-Read the Gathas of Zarathushtra, Arda Wiraz Namag, the ShahnamaVis u Ramin, and some scholarly articles for my upcoming thesis. I also have to compile my bibliography before September 3 – eep!

-Work more on Beneath!

-Finish critiquing Jacob G. Adams‘ lovely novel; it’s off to a good start so far! Though perhaps describing horror as “lovely” is a poor word choice.

-Finish editing Dark Aeons! I have a friend who wants to translate some of the stories in there into Japanese, so now I have motivation to really kick this one into gear! This is my top priority right now.

-Keep learning Arabic.

-Write more EsoTarot posts.

-Read and review Trafficked by John Peace.

-Finally get around to reading Children of the Sky by Vernor Vinge.

-Maybe start on the rest of the several thousand books I want to read…

Well, this will be an interesting month. We’ll see how well I do!

!مع السلامة

#Writemotivation Update

I’m a few days late as usual, as life is, as always, making me rather busy. A brief summary of my accomplishments:

Write three chapters/episodes of Astral Tide (one each week for the first three weeks of July). Done! I remembered just now I need to write an epilogue for the series next week, but then I’ll be done with this goal! That’s one out of three!

Write four chapters in Beneath. Written nothing here so far. Stagnation.

Finish editing Dark Aeons. Still no progress! Hooray for stagnation!

So, I’ve finished one goal out of three. Not bad! I also finished critiquing an excellent novel draft for someone (which I failed to put on my #writemotivation list) and learned some Arabic calligraphy! So this week hasn’t been a complete loss.

Coming up for the rest of August, I plan on reading some things, starting on a critique of another friend’s novel, and finally leaping back into writing – starting with an EsoTarot post tomorrow!

#Writemotivation Update

Well, it’s been a tough start of the month. Tougher than usual. I’ve been busy beyond belief for the past two weeks (hence the lack of an update last week), and am only now managing to get back to seriously writing. As I am not completely free of being busy yet, this update will be short. So far, my goals:

Write three chapters/episodes of Astral Tide (one each week for the first three weeks of July). Finished two of these! We went on a brief one-week hiatus due to more than one of us being busy, so still one more week left here.

Write four chapters in Beneath. Written nothing here so far. Stagnation.

Finish editing Dark Aeons. I’ve made no progress here either.

Unfortunately, I really need to finish critiquing a certain novel for someone this week, so editing my own work and writing Beneath will have to wait for a little bit, unfortunately. Hopefully not too long though! Time to scurry off back to being busy!

July #Writemotivation

That time of every other month is almost upon us, when I try to meet some arbitrary goals I set for myself in the course of one month. That’s right, it’s a #Writemotivation goal-check month! For more information, visit #Writemotivation founder K. T. Hanna‘s site here.

After my abysmal June Camp NaNoWriMo performance of 0 words, I hope to do much better for #Writemotivation. So, what do I want to do this month? I have set the following goals for myself:

-Write three chapters/episodes of Astral Tide (one each week for the first three weeks of July). I have already almost finished the first one of these as of this morning!
-Write four chapters in Beneath. Similar to other #Writemotivation goals I have had.
-Finish editing Dark Aeons. This is my primary priority at the moment.

Also, “unofficially,” I hope to finish critiquing a novel for someone, as well as do well on my upcoming GRE’s (on July 13).

Let’s see how well this works out!

Typos: The Root of All Evil

Typos are a writer’s worst nightmare. Or, at least, my own worst nightmare. As I have discussed before, I write primarily for myself, and so I am fairly confident in the ideas, plots, characters, and worlds I have created, and often my willingness to change what I consider pure imagination is limited (though it does happen, and certainly my imagination is influenced by others!). So, people not fully comprehending my ideas or not liking my plots, worlds, characters, and worlds is fine with me. It’s subjective, anyway; some people will like it and some won’t. I can deal with that. When people tell me that they can’t understand what I’m saying on a basic level, I start to worry, because I do still want to communicate my ideas to readers. One of the single most deadly poisons in a story of any length are typos and tiny mistakes in writing.

I bring this up because I recently published my third book, The Libel of Blood. My first reader – my brother – talked to me about it, and the very first thing he said was that it was full of typos. To be fair, he stole my proof copy of the book, which did contain several formatting errors which have since been fixed, but his words wounded me far more deeply than any criticism of the story, plot, characters, ideas, or world would have (in fact, he actually really did like all of those elements). The mere fact, though, that the technical errors in the writing were the first thing he noticed instantly poisoned his perception of the book, and of me as an author.

Why? Because it implies laziness through a lack of proper editing. This is not necessarily true; I don’t consider myself having been lazy in this department, having gone through and edited this particular book between three and five times (depending on the section). I have seen many, many professionally published books in which a few typos appear. Generally I don’t care, unless they are very numerous. My brother is the same way, and so when he commented on the typos, I became rather upset that I had let so many slip through my fingers – and my editor’s and other early stage-reader’s fingers – and began to have my usual doubts about self-worth and all of that. So, steeling myself, I went back and re-read large sections of the book again, scouring it for typos and other errors. Unfortunately, there were some. I caught three total, two of which were formatting hiccups, and one of which was a random dash where it should’t have been. I searched my electronic document for common typos, like “teh” and “fo,” and nothing came up. I am not sure if the search function was working properly (I’ve noticed with large documents it doesn’t always), or if perhaps I am also unable to see my own typos because I so strongly will them not to be there. If the latter is true, I am ashamed of myself, but there is little I can do about it.

Suffice to say, I did not find the numerous typos my brother mentioned, but I do trust him (even though he could not find any of the typos either, when going back later), and I deeply apologize to my readers who find them, and hope that you can see past the errors to the story beneath. I considered re-releasing the book with all of the errors fixed, but I don’t think I found enough to justify a complete press release overhaul. All that I hope for now is to catch them better next time.

So, what was that confession all about? Insecurity. Typos are my single largest fear in writing, because, surprisingly, they are not an easy fix. They are nearly impossible to find as a writer, because you know what you were trying to say. Many readers also gloss over them, but there are always those who don’t, and for those who see the typos, the professionalism of the book is called into question and that reader might not be a return reader. Typos are something that the writer can exert relatively little control over. The tiny mistakes are often harder to correct than the larger ones, even with extensive editing (and, one could argue that extensive editing makes finding the typos harder as you familiarize yourself overly much with your wording and structure).

So, the moral of this story? I hate typos, and I wish that automated spellcheckers worked better. When your writing team consists only of yourself and a few non-professional editorial readers, typos can often slip through the strainer, and all you can sometimes do is cross your fingers and hope you caught them all after your fifth run-through of the book.

It’s time we voted typos off the writing island.

May #Writemotivation Wrap-up and Camp NaNoWriMo!

So, May has ended and with it has ended #Writemotivation – for now. I did not manage to complete my one goal, which was originally to write eight chapters in Beneath, and then to write six. I wrote one and a large chunk of another. However, this is not quite as bad as it sounds, because the chapter I have written a chunk of is so far about the length of three chapters, so it’s like a I wrote four. Overall, then, I’m happy with my progress; it was a lot more than I made in March!

For the month of June, in place of #Writemotivation, I’ll be participating in Camp NaNoWriMo. I will be working on the same novel, Beneath, and trying to write 50,000 words in it or finish it – whichever I can reach, and hopefully both. We’ll see how that turns out!

So, #Writemotivation… Yeah.

Time for my weekly #Writemotivation update! Unfortunately, I haven’t made much progress since the last update. Actually, I haven’t made any progress at all. I also haven’t been commenting much with the hashtag with Twitter. I have, however, been reading everyone else’s blogs, and commenting when I can.

Why the lack of progress, ask you? Because I have been unable to write. Why unable to write, you ask? Because my mental state hasn’t been right for it. If I am stressed for any reason, I tend to get nauseous really fast. I feel physically sick, and find it nearly impossible to concentrate. For various reasons (mostly existential and where I stand in terms of my lifecourse), I have been in a state of near constant stress for the past week. As a result, my physical state has been less than exemplary. As a result of that, my mental state has not been well. I have been unable to focus, and have spent most of my time watching Farscape. I tried to write a few times (and I managed to crank out my Astral Tide episode for this week), but failed miserably each time. Combined with a sudden case of writer’s block, the obstacles in front of me seemed insurmountable. And because of my non-ideal state, my internet presence has been minimal.

Hopefully (I’ve been saying this every week), I will be able to really get going this week. So, in order to get myself ready to actually get stuff done, this is my plan for the rest of May #Writemotivation. Hold me to it!

Monday: Day off.

Tuesday: Spend a few hours working on thesis, and then write an entire chapter.

Wednesday/Thursday: One of these two days will be a day off. On the other day, whichever it is, I will work on thesis for a bit, and then write an entire chapter.

Friday: If this isn’t a day off, then I will finish Farscape (sans Peacekeeper Wars), write an entire chapter, and then thesis work with whatever I have.

Saturday: Day off.

Sunday: Write Astral Tide chapter, go to Rhapsody of Fire concert.

Monday: Thesis for a few hours, then write an entire chapter.

Tuesday: Arabic Class. Write an entire chapter. Thesis work.

Wednesday: Arabic Class. Write an entire chapter. Thesis work.

Thursday: Arabic Class. Write an entire chapter. Thesis work.

This is being optimistic, of course, so I am modifying my own personal goal from finishing eight chapters in Beneath down to six. We’ll see how this goes!

How’s everyone else doing with #Writemotivation?

#Writemotivation Check-in

Things still aren’t going well. I’ve managed to get in some writing – a few paragraphs in Beneath have been completed – but other than that, my progress on my single #writemotivation goal has been limited. Hopefully things will clear up in the next few days and I can finally start writing seriously (I know I’ve been saying this all month, but hopefully this time it’s true)!

But, being positive, progress has been made!